Cleaning Hacks for the ADHD Brain

Sometimes as a parent to a neurodivergent child, all you can do is take a deep breath.

It’s either that or billow out fire from all of my orifices. Throughout the day, I strategically avoid my daughter’s room. I will turn my head and do what she has so perfectly mastered, look past the chaos and destruction she has created within her four walls. 

One night, after a long 13-hour shift I came home to every item in her room strewn across the floor. I tried to convince myself that she had strategically pulled everything out to see if she could hide all surfaces within her room.

Ha, a joke I was playing on my own self.

Instead, I fumed, shook my head, strung together mismatched words of confusion, and groaned as I tried to make my way across the room.

The thing is, this was not a one-time occurrence, this catastrophe, yes that is the correct noun, “catastrophe,” is actually a weekly activity for her. This means it’s a weekly exercise for me, the mother, to practice holding in all my adult distaste. 

But that night was different.

That night I saw her actions differently. It took six years of her messiness for me to see from her point of view, her brain's capacity to look past the destruction I was standing in. That night I sat down in the middle of the mess and just observed it. She had in fact put some thought into her clever clutter. In one corner, small figurines were having a Dragon watching party, while next to the bookshelf she had set up a store. 

Under her nightstand she had piles of paper and crayons, all bringing color and life to her favorite thoughts. In her closet, four or five-game and puzzle pieces were scattered as if to make a walking path through a Lego city. 

That night was an ah-ha moment for me. Even though her room was a complete disaster zone, and I reacted with increasing blood pressure, it was ever so clear to me how her brain works. 

A child's brain with ADHD hears, sees, and experiences the world with constant motion and movement. Literally and figuratively. But in that quest for always moving there is brilliance, tactful thought, and precise decisions. 

Her room was a perfect representation of that motion. 

It was in this discovery moment, that I realized I had to find a new tactic to help her clean up. I needed to come up with new mom tips and tricks. I was not going to tackle how to help her “prevent” this chaos, that’s a life long lesson she will work on forever. But I was going to help her find a way through it, a way to bring her room back to some functionality without harassing, persisting, or demanding she “Clean Her Room.”

Hint: ADHD children, actually many children, don’t clean when you continuously repeat your requests of “go clean up your room”. (All moms shook their heads in agreement!)

When I say “clean your room,” she will walk in there and stare. Stare at what she sees as tactful actions of fun. Stare at Dragon Parties, pictures coming to life with color, and Lego paths. She sees nothing that must be cleaned up. 

So how do I get her to help put order back into her room? How do I get them to “clean up” without going blue in the face?

You become Mary Poppins of your house. That might be a stretch. I do not encourage handing out spoonfuls of sugar or attempting to fly with an umbrella. But I do encourage a few fun games to help make the clean-up more intentional and entertaining. To help your child visually see that their room indeed is messy and needs their attention. 

One of our favorite games, and my favorite parenting hack, is the Color Clean up. Simply put, you designate ONE part of your child’s room for them to focus on. Then someone, either you or your child chooses a color. Set the timer (you choose the length of time) and have the child clean up all items in that area that are the designated color, or have a large portion of that designated color on it. Once that section of the room is clean, move on to another section.

Tip: Use directive words and make eye contact when speaking to them. For example,  “Under your nightstand pick up all items that are red.”

Do not add too much detail or other requests to your words. You will quickly lose their attention and overwhelm them, causing them to shut down or meltdown.

From there move on to another area of the room until the room is all clean. 

Is this the magical answer to all your prayers? Maybe! Or maybe not. But, it is a chance for you to see how your child's brain works, and be a part of the solution they need in order to help them find direction. You are giving them a tool they will be able to use beyond childhood messes. 

Looking for another cleaning hack to have in your pocket?

Click HERE for a free printable cleaning game.

Kids love it, and I’ll admit, I like it too!