How to Handle a Call from your Child’s Teacher
Moms, have you reached for the phone only to have chills run down your spine, and you feel your emotions starting to boil? Internally you know, this phone call not going to be good? Man, you are not alone!
Here's the thing, as a mom you really hope you never see your child’s school number pop up on the screen of your phone. Day or night, it’s normally not the number that gets you all excited and full of hope.
In fact, it’s usually quite the opposite.
Those 10 numbers bring on heart palpitations, nervous sweats and create rushed, jumbled up thoughts all in a matter of seconds. It’s the same feeling you get right before the first drop on a roller coaster. That’s the feeling, and the main reason I chose to stay at least 100 yards away from those things, shaking my head at people screaming as they plummet down.
If you have received this call, once, twice, three times or more, it truly does not matter how many times, you can relate to this feeling.
But unfortunately, you can’t stand 100 yards away from your phone or shake your head at it and have it all disappear, can you? Nope, instead you’re silently cursing the phone “WHATTT THE...??? We talked this morning about things, don’t push, don’t take from others, be nice...Did none of that stick with him?” Your mind races with questions as to why the school would be calling. But you suck it up, eyes rolling in the back of your head as you take a deep breath and say “Hello.”
I have always secretly dreaded the idea of my phone ringing while my kids were in school for fear of the voice on the other line. I knew that day would come, but in honesty I would rather not know what happens and just be informed at pick up. Maybe that’s not the best way to go about parenting, but I mean what really can go on during the day for a 5-year-old, that I must know right away?
It finally happened. I received my first dread phone call from my children's teacher. And to be honest it was warranted. Albeit, not life threatening, but warranted.
If you have a child who is strong willed, stubborn, highly intelligent. temperamental and also always “right” (that’s debatable) then you too have probably received a phone call or two. You're not alone! I have now joined your club, and since then have been well received and reinforced into this club. I can tell you, even though it's not the most fun club to be a part of, it can give you more insight into your child and how he or she interprets the world around them.
I was asked to pick up my child because his words and actions hurt a very fragile, gentle and scared little boy.
First Day of Kindergarten
He punched his best friend because he’s confused who the boss of the whole world is. The teacher said he could come back the following day. Chance for redemption? Or was that a challenge? That’s still up for debate.
That meant that my son had to spend the next 6 hours doing “mommy things”. Helping clean the bathroom, put away dishes, and picking up the living room. No Legos, no playing knights or firemen, and certainly no going outside and playing soccer.
Even though I was boiling inside and sad that he chose to act this way to someone in a vulnerable position, to my shock I was able to hold it together. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was firing off things right and left in my head, but I zipped my mouth, huffed some stress away, this seemed like the moment that oil was created for, rubbed valor over my heart, my hippie mamma heart was pouring sadness for my son, as well as the other little boy, and got my mommy filter in check, full force on guard.
It worked.
Moms know it's hard to contain your reactions and hide them away while instead focusing on being logical and not making a rash choice, but by gosh, I was able to do it.
Because I was able to hold myself accountable and inward, NOT EASY, truly not easy, I was able to learn the reason, the ideas, and the thoughts that my son was bringing to the situation. I was able to listen to his point of view, and why he chose to say and do what he did. I was able to learn about him! In return, he showed actual tears towards the situation. Not angry, pissed off, I am better than anyone, tears, but true sadness tears. This is very big progress for a boy with anger-driven actions.
Moms, when you get that phone call and cringe answering it, dig deep into your mommy tools, take a deep breath, and remember why you are being asked to be present in that moment for your child. It’s not going to be easy to accept that call, but if you can gather the chaos in your head, and calm the profuse sweating, you just might find some thought provoking information from the mouth of a 5-year-old.
Edited by https://www.kelly-hamilton.biz/