How to work with your Child's Teacher

Anything the body does that you have zero control over I am 100% against!

It seems unfair that the one thing we are stuck with can do something without us telling it to.

Don’t even get me started on grey hairs or extra areas of “love”.

But what about nerves? I’m not sure why we have them but I sure as heck know what they make my body do. Praise the lord for the genius who discovered probiotics and digestive enzymes.

Sometimes the nerves go in full swing. Today was no exception. . .

I have been told by many moms that they love going to their parent-teacher conferences. If you don’t and you're like me and would rather hide away than attend one of those, I feel ya.

Today was that day for us, the day my stomach says “peace, you're on your own.” It was our annual parent/teacher conference. You’d think I would be used to these, after all, I am known for being at the beck and call of a certain little boy’s actions. But nope! Even with the regularly scheduled conferences I still would rather crawl under a rock and hide away than face the good and not so good challenges of raising 5 yr. olds, raising twins, raising “that kid”.

I’m still processing all we spoke about (Oh, and stopping for wine on the way home), but while I process I can’t stop thinking about something. I learned something that all mommas of “that kid” need to know.

Working with your child and acknowledging that your child does certain things or acts a certain way is a gift to a teacher. Look, no one’s child walks on water, and if you’re the parent denying that your child could possibly not be perfect, then it’s time to take a look at your life and have a true “come to Jesus moment.”  Being actively present and open with your child’s teacher is not only a blessing for your child, but for the teacher as well.

It’s hard to admit when your kid is “that kid”, I feel ya, 100%!!! Ohhh man, do I feel ya! But your child, your child’s teacher, and YOU need you to admit that your kids just might possibly have a few ticks they need to work through.

Oh, and just an FYI, I saw your kid eating dirt on the playground so even if their actions are not geared towards another child, they made sure to debunk any belief about perfection this morning.

As easy as it is to turn a blind eye and say, “not my kid,” I would encourage you to listen instead to the voice of the person you have entrusted your little love with. . . Eight. Hours. A. Day.

They might just have insights you have never heard. Listen with open ears and an open heart. Maybe there are small ways you and that trusted adult can jointly find answers and tools that will give you the confidence to say “yes, that is my child, but my child AND I are working on it. AND my child is also...” go ahead momma, list all the good things that your child is.

Fair warning, your nerves might twinge at first when you do this, but trust me, they will eventually relax when you crawl out from under that rock and sit and listen with open ears and an open heart.

You know what will happen when you come out from under that rock?
You will see a child that has grown both inwardly and outwardly. A child who feels loved, safe and respected. Your child will learn that when two people link arms together, changes can be made, both big and small. Your child will learn that even when things feel dark and uncontrollable, they will still have someone, actually, someones, on their side, someone there to support them, empathize with them and guide them down this childhood journey.

This working relationship, teacher and parent, has shifted my child's understanding of his actions and reactions while at school and at home. When things begin to escalate and seem unmanageable I like to ask my son “what would his teacher say or do”? Much of the time, this will make him stop and think. He responds to my question matter of factually, and either continues on his rant or shifts his energy to something less destructive and more realistic. It’s OK if he continues, but you see, by asking him what his teacher would do he understands that I too will be doing that.

He knows that I respect his teacher's words, her point of view, and her actions towards him. As does she to my words, views and actions. By displaying this respect in the heat of the moment my son understands that whether at home or at school he will receive consistent responses towards his words and actions.

And from what I have been told a few times, OK a million times in parenting, is that consistency is the key. Be consistently on the same page, one unit, with your little ones teacher. That’s the “Golden Ticket” that has helped me navigate the stormy path of parenting “That Kid”.

Edited by https://www.kelly-hamilton.biz/