Creating Rhythm and Routine in the Home
Parenting a neuro-different child can be challenging. If you are doing so, there have been tons of times where you felt like giving up on yourself and even your child. Having that feeling of throwing in the towel is normal! That’s why I am going to break down the ‘how to's’ on developing more patience and creating consistency in your home for your child.
You'll want to listen to the related podcast: Raising Children with Challenging Behaviors: Strategies and Tools to Help in the Home
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Parenting the Neuro Different Child
So you're parenting that kid. We are talking about the challenging behaviors that come with being a parent of a neurodivergent child. You are struggling to communicate, your child is hard to focus and always moving, and meltdowns are ensuing… you don't know what to do! That is where rhythm and routine come in. It's something that I think I was kind of forced into - I knew I needed to have this because I have twins. You just have to have some kind of routine or rhythm or it's chaos with two babies going different directions.
Why Your Child is Having Challenging Behaviors
There is always a root to why your child is having a meltdown. Understanding what is going on (with a clear mind) definitely helps to arm you with tools that actually work. There can simply be one thing going on, like ADHD, or there can be A LOT going on with your kid. Maybe your kid has ADHD with a developmental delay, executive functioning processing disorder, and sensory processing disorder. When you starting taking all of this in, you learn as a parent, how important it is for your child to have structures and thythm to help them manage their own discomforts and emotional difficulties.
You might also want to read: 3 Crucial Tips for Parents Dealing with Undesirable Behavior
Creating a Rhythm and Routine
Visual schedules are one of my favorite ways to implement routine in our house. I discovered that this was something being done in my son's therapy sessions to let him know exactly what to expect throughout the session. So of course, I had to snag this idea up to keep the peace at home! We created a routine and schedule for home and included timers to help keep everyone on task. Not only does this provide structure but it helps to refocus energy, calm the anxiety of ‘what’s next’, and takes everyone off the verge of a meltdown.
Here is the timer I use in our house for our daily routine: Visual Countdown Timer
Benefits of Rhythm and Routine
One of the benefits of this rhythm and routine is that it helps parents promote structure and a sense of security for their child. Having a visual schedule really helps kids know what's coming next. These visual schedules also help to learn that change will happen, it’s inevitable, and this can help with children who don't transition well.
By having a visual and even interactive schedule, your child will begin associating these daily tasks and heads with their daily routine. It will help them to stay focused and be able to regulate. If a step is missed, you may experience a meltdown BUT by knowing the cause, you can take a step back and help them find a solution to correcting it.
Managing Routines as a Parent
Take one step at a time. We cannot as parents expect our kids to get it all at once. You'll have to take it one day at a time minute by minute, hour by hour, one step at a time. It's not going to happen overnight. It's a slow change. By being open to taking it slow, you as a parent are able to breathe and have more patience.
Set Reasonable Goals for your Neurodivergent Child
Make goals for your day! Working on goals throughout your day will help your child focus when going from Point A to Point B. It allows for you to be tuned in to help with communication through the process. By achieving goals with rhythm and routine, you are helping your child identify ways to positively cope and manage their lives!
How Mindset Affects your Parenting
Changing our mindset is another important tool in managing routines. We have to learn and want to change how we do things when something we are currently doing is no longer working. We have to shift our mindset to a more positive outcome. We have to think more positively. It's hard...definitely easier said than done. It takes a lot of work. But once you start thinking positively, you're going to see such a difference in your environment with your children.
Tip: Consistency is key and you'll need patience through that consistency as it takes a while for old habits to die hard.
Do you struggle with undesirable behavior with your child? Are you feeling overwhelmed and even burnt out from the emotional energy you have vested into your child’s behavior? Let's connect! For more tips, tricks, and resources for parenting a neurodivergent child, join the official Parenting That Kid group Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.