3 Crucial Tips for Parents Dealing with Undesirable Behavior
Dealing with the undesirable behavior of a neurodivergent child can be absolutely exhausting. It can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated. I compiled a list of three actionable and practical steps you can take as a parent to help you maintain your sanity and manage your child’s behavior.
But first…..
Listen to the Podcast: An Insider’s Guide on Undesirable Behaviors
The Root Cause of Undesirable Behavior
When your child is having undesirable behavior, it is important to remember that this behavior you see is caused by something. Your child is trying to communicate something. There is no child that wants to have a meltdown - the meltdown is simply how they are communicating what they need. It could be calming their body down, buying them time, or maybe getting them the attention or comfort they need.
When they have undesirable behavior, they are getting something out of it. It is your job to figure out what that something is. Once you know what your child is trying to communicate, you can figure out strategies that you can put in place. If you start to think about their behavior differently, it helps you to understand what is going on. This is crucial for communication with doctors and schools too, so they can better help your child.
Knowing how to help your child communicate and redirect their energy can be difficult. After years of trial and error, I have found tons of low prep, high energy activities that help your child to regulate their emotions and refocus their energy. These also help to keep structure, comfort, and fun in your daily routine! You can grab your Active Child Sensory Box and Resource Book just in time for summer break.
Three steps you can take…
You might want to read this related blog post: Parenting Done Right: Finding ‘Me Time’ When Parenting a Neuro Different Child
Breath Work for Managing Undesirable Behavior
When dealing with undesirable behaviors with your neurodivergent child the first thing you need to do is breathe. You need to relax and believe that you have got this! Even if you are feeling like the worst parent in the world - you actually have a better grip on this than you think you do! It is important to fill our cup up because as a tired, scattered, overwhelmed parent it can be hard to help your child get where they need to get. That can weigh on a parent (you know exactly what I’m talking about).
If you are researching, listening to blogs, reading books, seeking support - you are not failing as a parent. You are trying your best and ultimately, you have got this and you know your child best. When you go to see doctors and therapists, amidst everything they tell you, you still know your child best. If what they are saying doesn’t match what you are seeing, know that you know your child best and advocate that.
2. Identify Your Goals
As a parent, you need to have goals. Goals that outline how you would like your parenting to look like, what you would like your home to look like, how you would like your life to flow. But these goals need to not be made off of those little social media squares, you need to set realistic goals that will improve the experience in your household or make your life a little easier.
Once you have these goals, you are able to outline WHO can help you achieve those goals. It is easy to get overwhelmed by wanting to do everything at once but it is important to take baby steps so you can analyze what is working best and what is not. By taking these steps, you’ll be saving time, money, and energy, all of which is important as a parent. When you start, identify your goals so that you can walk into the right professional, or you can ask for the right professional.
3. Communicate about Undesirable Behaviors
When you are reaching out for support, whether that is medical or community support, it is important to be very clear and block the chance of all the extra advice. Go in and address it in a clear manner (i.e. “We have a lot going on but our top goal is reducing aggression.” “Our top goal is being able to complete homework” “Our top goal is being able to regulate their sensory system because he is bouncing out of his body”) You are the parent and you know your child best! Use that expertise to help understand what is going on and what needs to be addressed first.
Do you struggle with undesirable behavior with your child? Are you feeling overwhelmed and even burnt out from the emotional energy you have vested into your child’s behavior? Let's connect! For more tips, tricks, and resources for parenting a neurodivergent child, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.