Four actionable steps to raising an ADHD child
What is ADHD?
What does ADHD look like?
How do you handle a child with ADHD?
How do you work with your child having ADHD as a parent?
If you are a parent who is struggling to figure out what to do with your child you are in the right place. I know how hard it can be finding answers to lean into, but through that struggle I have found answers and many times, success. I am here to help you find success in parenting a child with ADHD.
First step to success is filling your parenting tool belt. I have some great podcast episodes that have helped me parent an ADHD child, and I want you to have them in your tool belt as well. These episodes make for the perfect listen as we wrap up ADHD awareness month. Check them out here.
If your a parent ready to dive into the nitty-grity and get actionable tools now, then go ahead and start your podcast listening with this episode.
Listen to the podcast: A Guide to Parenting ADHD
There is no guide or instruction manual to parenting, especially when it comes to parenting a child with ADHD. But it is definitely important to have something to lean into. Having that support will help not only keep you afloat through this journey but it will make it easier for you to figure out what you are working with and methods that work for you and your family.
This book is that something to lean into! Go ahead and sang it up, your going to be amazing at your understanding and interpretation of ADHD once you finish working through it, I promise you this!: HyperHealing: The Empowered Parent’s Guide to Raising a Healthy Child with ADHD Symptoms
So what tools can you put into action right now?
Create a Nurturing Environment for your ADHD Child
One of the first things you can do is provide a nurturing environment. It is often not the child, but the surroundings that triggers certain ADHD behavior. When you provide a nurturing environment for them, you can identify those factors that are off and even pinpoint what is throwing your child off kilter. There are lots of different causes of ADHD symptoms. There is definitely not just one cause either! So if your child is struggling, it is important to be able to give them an environment where they can thrive.
In these environments, it doesn’t mean that your child won’t be a child - experiencing upset, struggle, and frustration, but it means that you will set your child up for success in those moments. A child with ADHD tends to not be extremely tidy. Their brain is just not wired that way. So in the situation of having them clean their room, they are likely going to experience frustration and they will possibly fight back with you at that point. But as the parent, you would be able to help them navigate this situation. Facing discomfort and doing things they don’t like doing can still help them learn structure, responsibility, and how to navigate life as an adult.
Dose this sound like a great idea, but unsure how to work with their environment? Try some tips from this blog post.
You might be interested in this: Creating Rhythm and Routine in the Home
When a child is in their nurturing environment, it also allows for you to look deeper into the root cause of their behavior. Was there something that was said or done to upset them? Was there a transition? Is there a routine and rhythm in place to help them navigate the day? Are they eating food that could be triggering more ADHD behaviors? Commonly, even within their nurturing environment these factors can play a big part in their behavior and being able to break it all down helps you to not only understand what is going on but it will help you take actionable steps to help them.
2. Self Love is the Key to Successful Parenting
Do not build a program you cannot manage. As you work with your child to navigate their ADHD, it is important to remember that they are not animals and we are not training them. Rather, we are helping them to learn coping skills so they can manage their emotions, refocus their energy, and self regulate. In this program, we are the environment for the child. We have to be there to provide nurture and help them to read the signs. For this to be successful, you’ll want to be able to read those signs to figure out what triggers your child but you will also need to figure out what they do that triggers you. This is because your reaction can land you in a terrible cycle of both parent and child having meltdowns. When you look at that situation, there is no way to cope. Our children feed off of our energy and the more we give them negative energy, the more they are going to demand it.
Check out this read: Parenting Done Right
When we take a moment to breathe and calm ourselves down, we will be able to turn the situation around. It may be a battle at first but take the route of self love and give yourself grace. You can change the environment at any time and your ADHD child needs you to be their nurturing environment. Take a moment to look at yourself, address your needs, and then respect those needs. If you know your needs and respect them, your children will respect their own needs too (and be much more independent children). But it is crucial that you choose to make that change and start with yourself first. Once you start, your will move your children into healthy habit formation as well.
Over time you will get to witness your child begin to develop healthy habits and be able to implement self control and inhibiting impulsivity. They can do this all with your help. They need you to provide that consistency and that nurturing environment.
3. Take it Slowly
It is normal to feel overwhelmed in the beginning. The most important thing you can do is to take a deep breath, take it slow, and give yourself grace. Here is a very powerful quote from the podcast, “You have to remind yourself that it's not your fault, you didn't create this problem. But you are very powerful, and you can help your child progress. So the less hysterical you are, and thinking that you have to fix everyone's problems all the time, and that your children need fixing to begin with, the more successful you're going to be.”
If you are going to succeed, you are going to have to take it slow. This can be overwhelming, because you are dealing with so much and uncharted waters. Don’t even try to do everything at once. That is a quick recipe for disaster. Give yourself plenty of time, at least 6 months, to really focus on nurturing yourself and getting in touch with your needs. Change the dialogue in your head from negative to positive - celebrate your wins!
4. Have an Accountability Partner
You don’t have to tell them they are an accountability partner but find someone that you can confide in who lifts you up. Commonly, this can be your spouse but it can also be someone who is close to you and sees what you are going through and what you are dealing with. This person is going to be your cheerleader. Get in the habit of sharing the good things and the wins. Compliment yourself and your child to this person. Discuss what you are learning and how you are understanding it! This is going to start shifting your communication and it will carry over to your home life.
You are doing just fine! It is overwhelming but you are here looking to better yourself and help your child. Think of their diagnosis. ADHD is not a disorder and your child is not broken. Their brain just works differently and they need your support to be able to learn how to cope. Don’t try to fix your child, rather, celebrate their strengths and embrace who they are! Simply go at it with the idea that you are going to help them learn how to manage their behavior, refocus their energy and self regulate.
For more tips, tricks, and resources on parenting a child with ADHD, follow Parenting That Kid on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest! Be sure to take a list to the TOP 5 Podcasts on Parenting ADHD here.
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