Parenting Done Right: Finding ‘Me Time’ When Parenting a Neuro Different Child

Raising tiny human creatures is the most overly exhausting, underappreciated job. Raising tiny human creatures with neurodiverse struggles (ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory Processing Disorder…) is a whole other ball game. A ball game 99% of mom’s never asked to participate in.

If you're a momma to a neurodiverse child the odds are that your energy and ‘me time’ dissipate into thin air, only to be reabsorbed by everyone else around you.

Time is like Diamonds.

‘Me time’, or ‘You time”, as a parent is more precious, it’s Gold.

Being a mother to a neurodiverse child is even more precious, you are more precious, you are Antimatter: Antimatter is considered to be the most expensive substance on Earth because it requires an incredible amount of energy to generate. Parenting a neurodiverse child requires superhuman energy to meet daily demands and needs. It also means with all the daily chaos and demands that come with parenting a neurodiverse child, you can quickly lose sight of yourself.

Who were you before having kids? You might not remember what life was like before you had tiny little humans demanding you remove all their tags from each article of clothing, or their constant fidgeting knocks over yet another water cup, or refusing to touch wet surfaces, or crying because their food items touched on their dinner plate.

These now-predictable ‘extra’ daily tasks all feel much easier to manage when you are able to find ‘me time’ giving you another superpower, the time to remember who you are. 

Finding the balance between ‘me time’ with the constant demands of parenting children who need extra focused attention can be empowering and help you feel confident. This balance is a winning combination for parenting success.

No grandiose actions needed for ‘me time’.

Here are four tips to help you reclaim the ‘You’, prior to parenting a high-demand child.

1.Make nourishing your body a priority:

Are you focusing on your child’s specialty diet? Always prepping food based on their restrictions or demands? Reading labels and searching for alternatives to traditional childhood favorites? It’s time-consuming to focus on the proper nutritional value your child requires, but it’s just as important to do the same for yourself.

Parenting a child with high demands requires so much energy. You can easily feel depleted and overwhelmed when your nourishment is sub-pare. Nourishing your body with quality food, water, and prioritizing movement, is essential to helping you maintain the balance between ‘you’, and parenting.

It’s not always easy to focus on nourishing foods when you have spent your energy trying to get your children to do the same. In fact, it’s more likely you have forgotten to eat at all. Try stocking your fridge with healthy foods you can easily grab when a proper meal is not an option. Replace chips and crackers with carrots and hummus. Put cleaned berries in a bowl, front and center of your fridge so you can easily grab a handful to help refuel your body.

2. Schedule in movement time.

Prioritizing movement can be tough while raising children with neuro challenges. It’s easy to say ‘tomorrow’, but then ‘tomorrow’ comes and goes and you have not moved your body. However, pushing off movement is pushing off ‘you time’. You begin to feel the emotional drab of the daily grind and heaviness.

The movement does not need to mean training for a marathon, hitting the gym for 2 hrs a day, or backpacking over a mountain. Movement means intentionally moving your body for ‘you’. You will improve brain function and memory, lower your cortisol levels aka your hormonal stress, reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. All these benefits can be overlooked when you are parenting a child with a diagnosis of ADHD, Anxiety, or Sensory Processing Disorder. Utilizing movement can help boost these benefits so you can begin to notice them in your life.

You schedule meetings, doctor’s appointments, car repairs, sports practice, and more. Add scheduling movement to your weekly to-do’s. Set aside 20 minutes on your calendar for movement. Do not allow yourself to double book. You can even write in what type of movement you will be doing. Your mind will be one step closer to the action and you are less likely to cancel or reschedule your movement time if you know exactly what it is you are going to do.

Monday 7:00-7:20 am- ‘Me Time”-Movement. Walk around the block. Don’t forget ear pods!!! Prioritize small movements to equal big results.

3. Decrease your stress

Stress takes its toll on your well-being. It can make it more challenging to connect with a child who experiences the world in a neuro unique way. The constant demands of raising a neurodiverse child can lead to stress which can create a feeling of resentment and frustration in parents. That is why decreasing stress is vital.

Having fun decreases stress while helping to improve sleep and memory. Fun can also help you feel youthful and increase your energy. Making time for fun sounds like something you would do for your child, not yourself. But focusing on what you find fun, will provide you the ‘you time’ your body and mind require to be the best ‘you’, for you and your family. Having fun is essential in life.

Fun can be with or without your child. There is no right or wrong way to have fun. Either way, make sure you are focusing on ‘you time’ while having fun. If you’re choosing to have fun with your child, then prioritize your choices. You chose the movie, the restaurant, or the family outing. Making choices you enjoy is one way to have ‘you time”. Your child may also find fun in your choice and that’s ok, but remember you are making this choice for you to have fun. Do not let your choice be dictated by those around you.

Making fun a priority in your life gives you the opportunity you need to reconnect and remember who you once were.

4. Create moments of calmness

As a mother to a challenging child, you may feel overwhelmed and ready to tap out.

It can be rare to find moments of quiet and calmness when you are parenting a child with a diagnosis such as ADHD, Anxiety, or Sensory Processing Disorder. Those moments are refreshing and necessary. Making time for those precious moments is vital to helping you remember who you once were. These moments are vital to recentering and being the best you.

While some people thrive on constant demands and chaos, others require calm moments. But finding those calm moments can be challenging. Evaluate your day and see where you might have hidden opportunities for quietness or calmness. Instead of chatting with your coworkers at lunch or running an errand, find a quiet and calm place to sit by yourself. Grab a good book, or turn on a calming podcast to help you recenter. Add short meditation or breathing techniques into your nightly bedtime routine. Turn the news and chaos of the world off, and enjoy a quiet commute to work. It is in these calm moments that you will remember who you once were. Make the most of the time you already have with a few simple tweaks.

Remember you do not need to lose yourself when parenting a neuro different child. Making a conscious effort to reconnect with yourself will help you feel more equipped for the challenges of raising a neurodiverse child. Being a mother to a child diagnosed with a neurodiverse difference is a blessing and an honor. This should not be overlooked. Reconnecting to who you were prior to children, will help you be the best mother you can to your tiny humans, and make parenting a neuro-unique child a more powerful and rewarding experience.